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September 30, 2010 | Food PornFor my housemate, there’s no better way to spend a weeknight than watching cookery programmes. They are her porn. Last night she watched Masterchef: The Professionals and Ramsay’s Best Restaurant back to back, weeping with happiness when the Yu family from Lancashire won against Michelin-starred Mayfair restaurant, Kai: ‘it was the beef dish that swung [...]  September 27, 2010 | Monday OffEvery office has a Mr or Mrs Cup Half Empty. In our case, it’s Ken from Facilities, who can skillfully spin even the best news into a web of misery, health and safety risk and possible eventual death. If I told him that Eric Bana had just proposed (he hasn’t yet) Ken would probably sigh [...] September 24, 2010 | No JoyI really think that I might hate JOY. I’ve never hated a clothes shop before; in general I think British clothes shops are all rather good, notably (and obviously) Topshop, where there’s always something I want, or Reiss, which is like the cut-priced lesbian lovechild of Celine and Stella, and where I would buy up [...] September 23, 2010 | HonhihonFinally got away for a little holiday, after a summer of internet self harm scrolling through the slew of smug tweets and Facebook albums of laughing, nut-brown people I don’t really know. A group of us flew out to Josh’s house in France last Wednesday, a couple of hours north of Bordeaux in the Cognac [...] September 15, 2010 | Family PartiesOh how I love a good family knees-up; the raucous cousins, the tiddly aunties, the colourful cross-section of outdated dance moves. There’s my father, who in the 24 years I have known him has revealed only one, in which he stands, legs apart and hands on hips like a Texan at a rodeo and shimmies back [...] September 13, 2010 | Motivational Tale For a MondayMy friend Sara has just broken up with her boyfriend, a creature whose emerging escapades make Wayne Rooney look like Saint Paul. Surely the worst kind of love rat is the one you don’t see coming; the outwardly nice, harmless, everyman type, who one day – out of nowhere – delivers an almighty sucker punch [...] September 10, 2010 | Secret Cinema‘OK, this is weird. I give up. Where are we going?’ said Ed. We were standing outside Wood Green station in North East London, where I had instructed him to meet me at 6, ‘bring chocolate and don’t be late’. Pouring through the turnstiles around us in a steady, nonplussed stream were hundreds of commuters dressed [...] September 1, 2010 | Flip CupAfter two years of working his jazzy socks off as a teacher, Ted has set off around the world for a year, with the advance warning that he ‘won’t even be back for Christmas drinks’. We floated a few ideas for a leaving do last week, some of which were fraudulently fancy; saying goodbye to [...] |
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